Christmas is in full swing for our little community, and like last month this will mean lots of extra family time for many, especially those with children. This is a great time to reflect and be intentional about this month’s protective factor, which is spending time in emotionally responsive interactions with children. Just as a reminder, in case you are new to our blog, a protective factor is a factor in a child’s life that makes it less likely they will use substances. Our blog is aimed at educating parents on how they can reduce the number of risk factors in their children’s lives, while also increasing the number of protective factors with the ultimate goal of reducing youth substance use.
This month we are focusing on the protective factor of time in emotionally responsive interactions with children. Let’s start by talking about why this is so important to our children. Basically, we are talking about situations in which our children have our full and undivided attention where we are responding to them emotionally through body language, physical touch, and our words. These situations are so important to our children because they increase the bonds between caregivers and their children, which is also a protective factor. Our children are learning by watching us, and when in these situations our children are learning how they should respond to other people. This is important to remember and recognize that our children are learning how to respond to a situation from us, even when we don’t respond appropriately. Another reason this time is so important is because during these interactions we have the best opportunity to communicate with our children in the most effective way possible. These situations give us the opportunity to share our own experiences, beliefs, expectations, and even consequences for behavior with our children.
Now that we have established what time in emotionally responsive interactions with children is and why it is important, let’s talk about what this may look like practically with your own child. This is an important protective factor beginning as early as infancy and continues to be important all throughout childhood and adolescence. This time will look different as your child grows and their needs change. See the chart below for examples of what this could look like as your child grows.
|
Age |
Example |
|
Infancy |
Holding your baby Talking to your baby Singing to your baby Rocking your baby to sleep Comforting your baby when they cry |
|
Early Childhood Years |
Engaging in Play with your Child Talking with your child about how they are feeling Comforting your child Going on a Walk Together Feeding your Child |
|
Elementary Aged Children |
Engaging in play with your child Playing Board Games with your child Talking about their day with your child Eating Dinner Together |
|
Middle School Aged Children |
Playing Games Together Attending Child’s Sporting Events Watching a Movie Together Eating a Meal Together Cooking Together |
|
High School Children |
Discussing Future Plans Together Talking to your Child Sharing Hobbies Running Errands Together |
These lists are just examples of things to get you thinking about how you can make sure you are spending time with your children. In today’s world we are faced with so many distractions. Our cell phones, computer, TV, and technology can be wonderful tools, but can keep us distracted, and unfortunately our children pay the price. As a parent I know that the days are filled with responsibilities and to-do lists, but I encourage you to do some reflecting. Think about ways you can make sure you are spending time with your child and giving them emotionally responsive interactions. Start simple.. Keep your phone in the bedroom when you are at home or make sure that dinner is family time with no screens allowed. Make a rule that your child has to tell you about their day before they can play on their tablet, or schedule a family game night every Friday night. All families are different, so it is important to find what works best for your family. Remember to be consistent, and that your child needs you to be present for them.