I think it is safe to say that we can all agree that responsibilities are a part of life. Even if sometimes we wish we had less responsibility, it doesn’t change the fact that as adults there are just things we have to do. I often think back to my childhood and teenage years and think about how great life was, when my biggest worry was what I was going to wear to school or what me and my friends were going to do for fun. Today we are going to be talking about how responsibility is actually a protective factor for substance use.
Teaching youth responsibility is so important for many reasons and is connected to many of the other protective factors we have discussed in past months. As youth enter their teenage years it is essential that they begin to learn responsibility in preparation for adulthood and leaving home. Teaching responsibility is actually something that we can and should begin to teach in Early Childhood. We talked briefly last month about how important it is for youth to learn skills before they leave home, because if they don’t it can make the transition to college life even more difficult and overwhelming for them. If we wait until the teenage or late teenage years to begin teaching our children responsibility, it is likely that we will find there is too much to teach and not enough time to make sure our children can learn all the skills they need without becoming overwhelmed and frustrated, which could potentially weaken the family bonds.
Responsibility is going to look different for every child at every age. For example, a child in their toddler years may begin to learn responsibility by learning to throw away their trash when they are done with a snack, pick up their toys when they are done playing, or even learning to dress themselves. As children grow older and they have mastered these responsibilities, then it is time to add new ones to work on. A 5 year old child may learn how to brush their own teeth, feed a pet, help unload the groceries, or water the plants. A 10 year old child may have responsibilities such as helping set the table and prepare the meals, taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, and putting away or helping with laundry. A 15 year old may have responsibilities such as yardwork, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and possibly even a part-time job.
It is important to remember that all of these responsibilities are skills that we must teach our children and give them a chance to master the skills before expecting them to complete the tasks independently. If we add in too many things at once our children could become overwhelmed and feel like giving up. When introducing a new responsibility to your child always explain why it is important that they learn that skill and how they will use it in their everyday life. Talk to your child about how they are growing older and tell them you are proud of them for all the responsibilities they manage. This will help your child see this responsibility as a part of growing and maturing, not as a form of punishment.
So why is responsibility a protective factor? Responsibility provides accountability for youth. Responsibility also gives youth a sense of purpose and belonging in a family. Teaching responsibility from a young age helps prepare youth for life outside the home and ensures they have the skills they need to be successful in life. Responsibility also teaches youth how to prioritize their time, money, and efforts. As parents, we often feel tired and overwhelmed managing all the responsibilities that come with working, adulting, and especially parenting. You may find that as you work with your child to teach them responsibility it may also lessen your load and give you more time to focus on things you enjoy, which can in turn help strengthen the family bonds. Not sure where to start? Think about your child’s day from the time they wake up until the time they go to sleep. Make a list. What things do they do? What things are done for them? Are there any of the tasks you do that they could begin to take over or learn more about? Once you have a list of age-appropriate responsibilities for your child, it is time to prioritize. Decide which responsibility you would like your child to master first, then once they have mastered that responsibility move on in your list to the next one. You can keep doing this until your child has mastered all the things you had written, and most likely by that time you will begin to see other responsibilities that your child could begin to work on because you will see the growth that has come with having responsibility in the home.