In a world that values being unique and independent I think it’s easy to forget sometimes that though we are all different in our own ways, we are much more alike than we are different. One of the ways that most all humans are alike is that they thrive when connected. This month’s blog is going to talk about the opportunity to belong. Opportunities to belong is listed as a protective factor, but I’m also going to explain through this blog how this can quickly become a risk factor for the same foundational reasoning.
Like I mentioned earlier, as humans, we all want to feel connected and like we are a part of something. These feelings of connection and belonging give us purpose and a place in this big scary world. What comes to your mind when I say opportunities to belong? Do you think of your church group? Book Club? Family? Friend Group? Regardless of what group you click with, its important to find just that. A group that you share some type of connection with. Hopefully, when you think of the groups you belong to in your own life, they are positive ones. However, I also want you to think about how looking for opportunities to belong could also have a negative effect, especially on the life of a young person. What about hanging around with the “wrong crowd”? Gangs? Groups engaging in risky behavior such as substance use?
As parents and caregivers, it is important to remember that our children are going to be looking for opportunities to belong in this big world, and it is our job to guide them to find opportunities to belong that are safe and healthy. Helping your child find a place to belong can be done in a variety of ways, and though social media is often scary for parents, it can also bring us together in ways we never saw possible before. Some youth have no problem finding a place to belong. Maybe they enjoy sports and have found a sense of belonging with their soccer or football team. Other children may find more of a sense of belonging with a club at school such as art club, or even their church group. What should we do when our child is struggling though? How can we help them find a place to belong? Let’s start simple. What does your child enjoy? Do they like to do things outside like fishing, or do they enjoy playing video games? Even if it isn’t what you wish they enjoyed its important to recognize and validate what makes them happy. Then, look for an opportunity. If your child enjoys reading, then check the local library for activities centered around books. Is your child a teen parent? How about joining the local Young Parent Mentoring Program? Your child enjoys fishing? Look for some new places to take your child fishing where they may be able to meet other people with similar hobbies. I encourage you to also think outside the box! Your child like to argue? How about the debate team? Does your child like to cook? How about cooking lessons or a technical program at school?
The important thing to remember is it is important for us to help our children find a place they can belong that is safe and healthy. All too often, we see young people going down a path that we know isn’t good for them. I encourage to look past the behavior and ask yourself. Is the child just looking for a place to belong? If so, lets help redirect and guide them to find an opportunity to belong that is safe, healthy, and promotes growth.